Bedtime Stories
by ravenXoverXdove
Summary: Happy AkuRoku Day! Here's a little ficlet for the festivities . Roxas demands a bedtime story. Axel Delivers. Rated T for swearing. Dedicated to my partner in crime, Les Reveurs. R&R is much loved :


**A/N- **Hello, and happy AkuRoku Day. [= This year, I made it a priority to finish my tribute to this day. This was dedicated to one of my best friends, Les Reveurs, because I love this Brazilian to death and wish she could transfer schools for lunch period, haha.

Inspiration for this story came from a few nights ago when one of my teammates couldn't sleep and demanded a bedtime story. Therefore, I pulled one out of my brain and it made it into this story. Enjoy. Haha.

**Disclaimer- **Kingdom Hearts belongs to Disney and Square Enix. The bedtime story, however, is from my one little brain cell, Brian.

* * *

Roxas shifted under his covers, fluffing up his pillow a little before burrowing his gold locks under white sheets. Sighing, he shifted again, then silence. Moments passed before the small Nobody sighed louder and angrier than before. And again. Finally, blue eyes, with brows furrowed in anger and confusion, peered out from the linen, staring at the dark figure in the corner.

"Do you _mind?_ I'm trying to go to sleep."

The dark figure walked forward slightly, into the light from Kingdom Hearts through the window, exposing fire red hair. "I know," A smirk obvious in his voice.

Roxas slapped himself in the face, covering his eyes. He slid his hand down until his fingers pinched the bridge of his nose. "_Please, _Axel. Go to your room. I want to go to fucking _sleep._"

At that, Axel full on smiled wickedly. "No."

The blonde's hand slipped off of his face and back under the blankets as he glared intensely at the tall figure in front of him. The scene was unchanged for many moments: Axel stood feet from Roxas's bed, smiling his trademark smile, and Roxas glaring daggers into the redhead's stomach. Finally, said blonde sighed in defeat. "Alright. _Alright, _fine. You're going to stay in my room, so you have to tell me a bedtime story."

Axel brought his hand up to his chin in mock deep-thought. "Alright." He grabbed a white, rather uncomfortable looking chair, and placed it next to the blonde's bed, letting his body slink into the seat. He grinned, "I got one."

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Here we go."

"Once upon a time," Axel continued as if the interruption never happened, "There was a yellow sexually frustrated dolphin named Frederica."

The blonde sat up in his bed, leaning his back against the wall and bringing his blanket covered knees into his chest, already enthralled. Axel had paused to wait for Roxas to get comfortable. The younger Nobody finished his shifting and blankly looked at the elder, "Go on."

The redhead took a long breath in, "Alright, _anywhores_," Roxas gave his friend a weird look, but it went ignored by the storyteller, "Frederica was a virgin. And as such, it was only normal that she was curious about the wondrous world of sex! During this phase of complete sex nut without the penetration, she met a red dolphin name Eddie."

"Is this going to end up dolphin porn? Because that's hardly considered a bedtime story."

Axel turned his head to stare at Roxas, dumbfounded. "Well if you shoosh, you'll find out now, won't you?"

Said blonde scoffed indignantly, wrapping his arms around his knees and placing his head atop of them to hide his small smile.

"As I was saying!" the redhead cleared his throat with a slight laugh, "Frederica and Eddie hit it off real fast! They got so close, that they knew each other's secrets and shit. They would even have phone sex every night, even though Eddie had a girlfriend, Sims. But their relationship wasn't going too well. You see, Sims was acting real bitchy to Eddie lately, flirting with all the whales and shit like that-"

"What a whore."

"Damn straight! Anyways, Eddie finally had enough, and he broke up with her."

"Thank God!"

"Will you stop interrupting?"

"No."

"That's what I thought… Well anywhores," Axel continued on, slapping his hand slyly over the blonde's mouth mid-sentence, earning an indignant squeak from the younger Nobody, "Seeing as how he was single now and whatnot, Eddie decided to fulfill Frederica's dream and took her virginity over spring break. Life was a bundle of posies for that yellow dolphin, until dolphin school was back in session."

Under his hand, Axel could feel Roxas gasp. Chuckling, he continued, "Eddie became a real dick to her. He started ignoring her! He even got back together with that bitch of a dolphin Sims. He was fucking whipped! Frederica was pissed. She knew what she had to do. She was going to get her revenge on that fucking whore dolphin, Sims-OW."

Roxas had bitten the redhead's hand to interject, "What she do?" The blonde looked about as excited as a little kid at Disneyland, playfully bouncing up and down and all.

Axel held his injured hand like a newborn and scoffed, "Do you promise not to interject?"

"Hell no."

"Good." Axel smiled, "So anyway, the next day at dolphin school, Frederica drowned that piece of shit, Sims and then swam right up to that dick, Eddie and-"

"How the fuck did she drown a dol-"

"Just shut up and listen." Axel swiftly placed his hand back over Roxas's mouth, ignoring the excessive biting. "She swam up to Eddie and kissed him violently. The kiss was so intense that he didn't even notice that Frederica pulled out an AK-47."

A small muffled voice tried to escape from under Axel's hand, but the blonde's words were incoherent to the redhead's ears. Therefore, he continued uninterrupted, "She shot that mother fucker right through the heart, and he fell to the reef below, bleeding. And every night, to this day, that yellow dolphin swims down to that fateful reef and rapes his corpse. The end."

Axel took his hand off of the blonde's mouth, which remained opened in shock. After Roxas's body unfroze, he turned towards the storyteller. "It can't end that way!"

"Oh but it did, my dear boy." Axel grinned, standing up and ruffling Roxas's blonde hair.

"What- but, but… No!" Big blue eyes stared up at emerald ones which gleamed back. "That was utter bullshit!"

Axel laughed and shrugged. "You get what you pay for, Rox."

Roxas folded his arms, and crinkled his nose in a very juvenile pout. "That was stupid."

"You look cute when you pout, you know that right?"

"Oh that's real smooth, Axel. Tell me a dumb story then make a pass at me. How much of an idiot do I look to you?" Roxas argued in mock-hurt, trying hard to hide his smile. Every sane person likes a friendly fight, right?

"I can make you look like an even bigger one in three point twenty-nine seconds," Axel cooed tauntingly.

Roxas scoffed, ending with a smirk and shake of the head. "I'd like to see you try."

"Okay." The redhead swiftly leaned down, placing a kiss right atop, the blonde's small lips. He pulled back grinning ear to ear, at the look on Roxas's face. His jaw had practically dropped to the floor, his eyes bugged out tenfold, his arms fell limp at his sides, however his hands formed something resembling claws. "Tried and conquered, my dear boy."

At that, Axel turned and began walking towards the corner he had started out in, opening a portal. Before walking through, he offered the bewildered blonde one last smirk.

Long moments after, Roxas finally unfroze, opening and closing his mouth dumbly before waking up the entire castle, screaming. "It can't end that way!"

~fin.

_The Raven._


End file.
